Just shove it!
There are two meanings to the title for this post today.
The first is this gorgeous photo, of my daughter shoving her birthday cake in her face.
She takes life in both hands, shoves it in her face, and gets it done. Emma had the best birthday - we spent time with our family, had lots of cuddles, went out for dinner... we ate chips, cake, and biscuits and it was the great day we had planned for her. Over the last few weeks she has come in leaps and bounds - it's funny, when they're babies the milestones come one after the other and there are so many things to keep up with it's like a celebration every day. Then they stop... the milestones are bigger, harder, and less frequent. In the last few weeks Emma has begun taking steps, is saying more varied sounds, and is definitely asserting her independence at every turn. She is a beautiful soul and she has a mind of her own. She gives a great hug, but if you ask her for one and she doesn't want to give it, she shakes her little head and holds out her hand for a high five. She smiles her big smile at strangers - usually those who have taken a second look at her and she wins them over. We re so proud of her and can't wait to see what the next 100 years has in store for her.
This is where we come to the second meaning of the title. I'm not going to mince words here and if you're offended by the following paragraph, I apologise. I don't, however, apologise for how I feel. Here goes... people like to give me advice, and most of the time I smile and say nice things back to them but inside I'm screaming at them to shove their advice where the sun doesn't shine. Unless you are a parent of, a sibling of, or a person with Down syndrome, I don't value your opinion over theirs when it comes to decisions we make for our daughter. Down syndrome is one of the more common disabilities, and as such there are many people who know someone, know of someone who knows someone, or have come in contact with someone with Down syndrome. Emma is not exactly like anyone - just like all redheads are not the same, all women are not the same, and all left-handed people are not the same. We all share common experiences and traits, but we are all individuals. Emma isn't the person you may have known, and your expectations of her shouldn't rely upon your experience with someone else.
I want you to celebrate her achievements, or tell me how gorgeous she is, or even tell me that she's pulled your kids' hair and needs to be disciplined. I want you to tell me how you chose a school for your child, how you knew they were ready to be toilet trained, and how you communicated with them before they learned to talk. Parent stuff. Not parent of a child with special needs, but just a parent. We know Emma is going to face some challenges in life, and we know that this is not something she will 'grow out of'. Her extra chromosome isn't going anywhere and quite frankly I love it. It makes her who she is, and without it would she have her dimple? Or her sweet smile? Would she still talk herself to sleep? Would she still be obsessed with lights and music? I don't want to know. She's happy now, she's loving now, she's hard work now. Does that mean that she will be for the rest of her life? Who bloody knows....
The first is this gorgeous photo, of my daughter shoving her birthday cake in her face.
This is where we come to the second meaning of the title. I'm not going to mince words here and if you're offended by the following paragraph, I apologise. I don't, however, apologise for how I feel. Here goes... people like to give me advice, and most of the time I smile and say nice things back to them but inside I'm screaming at them to shove their advice where the sun doesn't shine. Unless you are a parent of, a sibling of, or a person with Down syndrome, I don't value your opinion over theirs when it comes to decisions we make for our daughter. Down syndrome is one of the more common disabilities, and as such there are many people who know someone, know of someone who knows someone, or have come in contact with someone with Down syndrome. Emma is not exactly like anyone - just like all redheads are not the same, all women are not the same, and all left-handed people are not the same. We all share common experiences and traits, but we are all individuals. Emma isn't the person you may have known, and your expectations of her shouldn't rely upon your experience with someone else.
I want you to celebrate her achievements, or tell me how gorgeous she is, or even tell me that she's pulled your kids' hair and needs to be disciplined. I want you to tell me how you chose a school for your child, how you knew they were ready to be toilet trained, and how you communicated with them before they learned to talk. Parent stuff. Not parent of a child with special needs, but just a parent. We know Emma is going to face some challenges in life, and we know that this is not something she will 'grow out of'. Her extra chromosome isn't going anywhere and quite frankly I love it. It makes her who she is, and without it would she have her dimple? Or her sweet smile? Would she still talk herself to sleep? Would she still be obsessed with lights and music? I don't want to know. She's happy now, she's loving now, she's hard work now. Does that mean that she will be for the rest of her life? Who bloody knows....
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