I had a little cry tonight!
Tonight I had a little cry. We'd been out for dinner at a friend's place and Emma was up a bit later than usual. She was overtired when we tried to put her down to sleep, so she was unsettled. My husband was a trooper and settled her with cuddles... he's the best dad to her and when she's grumpy she just wants him. I love it, because it means that I get to step away sometimes, and I know that she loves him as much as she loves me.
Anyway, after she was asleep for a few minutes, she started calling out again so I went in and picked her up. She instantly snuggled in to my chest and her breath changed quickly to one of sleep. I sat with her in our rocking chair, and found myself crying.
Tears of happiness that such a simple act of touch can settle her.
Tears of sadness that she's growing up (she's almost 2 for goodness sake!!) and soon she won't need or want cuddles to sleep.
Tears of worry that it won't always be as easy as a cuddle to soothe her cries.
After I put her back down, I came back out and continued on with my night. I was checking Facebook and this popped up from a fellow DS parent...
I immediately shared it, and then I went on to read the comments from other DS parents. To paraphrase the majority, they were very positively stating that their child WILL be independent, and that they're setting them up to live a 'normal' life.
I agree with both sides. I want nothing more for Emma than for her to be independent, loved, and happy. I want her to do everything and anything that any other person will do. I will do everything in my power to make sure that she has every opportunity to achieve all of her goals, and that I don't have to hold her hand through it all. Sadly though, a lot of people don't have the positive outlook that we do. It's not that they don't want Emma and her friends to achieve, it's that deep down they don't believe that they can.
This is what we're fighting against as special needs parents. We have to think about things that parents of other children don't have to think about. Things that parents of other children don't even realise they don't have to think about.
I don't want Emma to be given any special treatment when it comes to learning or social situations. I don't want other kids to be proud of the fact that they played with the girl with Down syndrome, I want them to see her as an equal and a friend. I don't want people to let her win when they're playing a game. I don't want her to always get the trophy for being the best, unless she actually IS the best. She needs to learn that she's just as worthy, just as deserving, and just as disappointed as all the other kids. The good and the bad, just like everyone else.
It's a lot to worry about, so sometimes, I cry. I do have an amazing support network of people who often tell me to stop thinking ahead, to enjoy the moments, and to calm down. I appreciate these people because they make me stop and look at just how amazing my little girl is.
I feel like there might be a little milestone coming up... tonight at our friend's place she stood, on her own, from the floor. She did it again, and again. We were so proud! I'll keep you posted...
Anyway, after she was asleep for a few minutes, she started calling out again so I went in and picked her up. She instantly snuggled in to my chest and her breath changed quickly to one of sleep. I sat with her in our rocking chair, and found myself crying.
Tears of happiness that such a simple act of touch can settle her.
Tears of sadness that she's growing up (she's almost 2 for goodness sake!!) and soon she won't need or want cuddles to sleep.
Tears of worry that it won't always be as easy as a cuddle to soothe her cries.
After I put her back down, I came back out and continued on with my night. I was checking Facebook and this popped up from a fellow DS parent...
I immediately shared it, and then I went on to read the comments from other DS parents. To paraphrase the majority, they were very positively stating that their child WILL be independent, and that they're setting them up to live a 'normal' life.
I agree with both sides. I want nothing more for Emma than for her to be independent, loved, and happy. I want her to do everything and anything that any other person will do. I will do everything in my power to make sure that she has every opportunity to achieve all of her goals, and that I don't have to hold her hand through it all. Sadly though, a lot of people don't have the positive outlook that we do. It's not that they don't want Emma and her friends to achieve, it's that deep down they don't believe that they can.
This is what we're fighting against as special needs parents. We have to think about things that parents of other children don't have to think about. Things that parents of other children don't even realise they don't have to think about.
I don't want Emma to be given any special treatment when it comes to learning or social situations. I don't want other kids to be proud of the fact that they played with the girl with Down syndrome, I want them to see her as an equal and a friend. I don't want people to let her win when they're playing a game. I don't want her to always get the trophy for being the best, unless she actually IS the best. She needs to learn that she's just as worthy, just as deserving, and just as disappointed as all the other kids. The good and the bad, just like everyone else.
It's a lot to worry about, so sometimes, I cry. I do have an amazing support network of people who often tell me to stop thinking ahead, to enjoy the moments, and to calm down. I appreciate these people because they make me stop and look at just how amazing my little girl is.
I feel like there might be a little milestone coming up... tonight at our friend's place she stood, on her own, from the floor. She did it again, and again. We were so proud! I'll keep you posted...
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